An attempt to emulate a piece by Montaigne might, then, follow thus:
The internal cosmos of the mind may shift without notice to
those observing it, whether from the inside or outside of one’s particular
universe. “Moving of th' earth brings harms and fears;/Men reckon what it did,
and meant;/But trepidation of the spheres,/ Though greater far, is innocent.” I
am still not Donne, I am still moving and though neither harms nor fears have
been brought to those who live with me the planets and solar systems and
galaxies of thoughts and dreams and desperate surmises have shifted to no one’s
sight save my own.
My earth has not moved but the stars are closer to alignment
and no one has noticed, for their telescopes are focused inward, on themselves
rather than on myself, but still I look into my skies and see that things have
changed. I am still stable and rooted in the earth but I am taller, I am
reaching farther toward the pinnacle of my existence and stretching closer to
the stars even as they move. Yet those around me take no notice and I think it
is a blessing, for had I the burden of the movements of their stars I should
not pay nearly so much attention as I do to my own.
The final sentence of your first paragraph is exceptionally deep. I got the interpretation (though this may be extrapolating) that you were looking to make a point that no matter how taxed a being might be about a particular topic, there's no guarantee that those around it feel similarly.
ReplyDeleteYou pulled off an impressive emulation of Montaigne — much better than mine, which upon reflection is a jumbled mess despite my good intentions.
The quote you chose for this piece is also spot on. It added greatly to your narrative.
This is excellent. The metaphor is strong, and like Jim, this made me look back at mine and also makes me want to write something with more depth and structure the next time out.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite part of this emulation by far is the metaphor used, and although it's something used a fair amount, this feels fresh and unique to you as writer. Bravo.
Oh, you boys. Just beating yourselves up. . .
ReplyDeleteJules,
I like your emulation of Montaigne, especially the end. You're growing in this vague but evocative way, and so are others, but it would be overwhelming for people to notice the changes of others, right? Good idea.
That said, the early part of the star metaphor is a little unclear. That might be brought about by your attempt to sound--what?--elevated like Montaigne.
Anyway, I like the attempt. And I'm glad you're using Donne. A more appropriate quote might have been Casey Kasem's immortal and ridiculous ""Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars." ;-)
And yet yours is a more edifying one!
DW