Listerine. The minty, slightly alcoholic scent of it pervaded their house, crept into corners and leapt out to surprise me at the strangest times. The wind could be blowing as if to batter the house down, forcing the pungent reek of half-rotted lake weed into my nose as I struggled up the stone path with more suitcases than was really advisable, but as soon as I opened the front door of that house by the lake all I smelled was Listerine.
My grandfather was the mouthwash aficionado in that house, and the smell of it followed him around like a shadow. He could be working in the garage, elbow-deep in the hood of one of his classic cars, and the young granddaughter that wandered up behind him would smell, amid the sharp bark of motor oil, the tang of antifreeze, the curiously enticing aroma of gasoline, the faintest hint of minty Listerine, even before he turned around and began to attempt to explain what he was doing with all the shiny wrenches. Later, a splotch of motor oil might still perfume his shirt or hands before my grandmother wiped its stain away, but mint mouthwash was once again paramount.
I would find him in his office, a dry, papery place with its own perfume of old books and dust, with a little bit of that crackly not-quite-a-smell-more-a-nose-feeling of heat in the air given its placement in a loft at the very top of the house. A hug there would waft those arid scents toward me from his hair and clothes, along with a whiff of his dandruff shampoo and, once again, the pervasive smell of Listerine. Its cool green aroma never lingered on our clothes and suitcases when my family took our leave from the lake house in Rochester, but when my grandparents came to visit us in Cleveland my grandfather brought his scent with him, perching it for a few days or a few weeks on the bathroom counter in the shape of a big green bottle of Listerine.
I really like the word choice in this post, especially those of waft and whiff. The emphasis the idea that the scent of the mouth wash was prevalent all the time and overcome everything. The imagery at the end is also strong and I really enjoyed this. Good work.
ReplyDeleteOf all the smells in the world, I think that of Listerine is one that could absolutely "jump out" at you. Also, the word "aficionado" fits beautifully in its context, though the "following him around like a shadow" bit is a tad cliche.
ReplyDeleteYour point of view first person in the first and third paragraph differs from the removed, third-person voice in the second paragraph. I think it works well, but why did you choose to do that?
I can't exactly relate to the situation in and of itself but was able to forge a connection with the story nonetheless. I think this was another wonderful read — good job!
Jules,
ReplyDeleteThis is lovely. In an oil-splotchy way.
I think when you pair this with some commentary--about family, or some reflection on your grandpa, or on travel, or on some other topic that the "sharp bark" elicits for you--we'll have an essay (the sharp bark of memory, hitting you in the face like listerine--kinda parodic, but you know what I'm going for, I'll bet!).
For a blog post, though, this is right on point. Great pre-writing.
Changing topic: see how "pungent reek of half-rotted lake weed" is careful and rhythmic while "the strangest times" right above it seems to thud in its generality? Certainly you shouldn't shoot for the moon with every sentence, but you're talented enough to keep an eye out for every opportunity to make a piece sing. Sing to the moon. To unmix my metaphors. ;-)
I think this is the second piece in a row in which you've used "waft" as a transitive verb. Curious!
I love the different smells that this piece evokes. Not only do you focus on the obvious odor of Listerine, but you incorporate the "sharp bark of motor oil, the tang of antifreeze, the curiously enticing aroma of gasoline" as well. The topics you touch on intrigue curiosity about your grandfather to me. I'm wondering what kind of man he is based on your description of scent.I like the repetition you use, constantly making sure the reader doesn't lose the smell you are trying to portray. As always, great work!
ReplyDelete